It is often difficult when your teen rejects your attempts to offer guidance or initiate conversations - especially if you don't understand the reason they are rejecting your. Most parents are willing to do anything to have their teens open up and speak to them.
Sometimes teens would like to be able to open up and talk to their parents but they just don't know how to start. There are things parents can do to try to open up the lines of communication with their teens.
How you can get your teen to talk to you. During the teen years, there are many roadblocks to communication that the parent-teen relationship may encounter. Here are some suggestions as to what to do and not do when communicating with your teen.
Don't label your teen. Teens are often labelled for one reason or another. They might be judged on what they look like, what they drive, what th eir backgrounds are and so on. While they are faced with such labels throughout their days, they don't expect or appreciate being labelled at home. Remember that your words can be costly and therefore, you need to choose them wisely. Your teen looks to you for guidance and support so by labelling your teen, you are attacking him or her. Negative talk can make your teen feel very low and self-conscious. Labels will only create deeper issues and confuse your teen.
Avoid fighting with your teen. Even if you have a healthy relationship with your teen, you will disagree on something or other. Fighting and arguing can cause deep issues between you and your teen. While a fight might be inevitable at some point, make sure you discuss it afterwards when you have both calmed down. Working through conflict instead of attacking one another is important. Use respect, affirmation and dignity when working through conflict with your teen.
Really listen to your teen. Your teen may actually want to have a conversation with you but he or she will not attempt to initiate a conversation if it's felt you are not willing to listen. It can be incredibly frustrating to try to talk to someone and they just listen long enough to start giving advice or start lecturing. Teens may also test parents. They might share enough and then sit back and watch for the reaction of their parents. If parents jump in lecturing or discounting what the teen is saying, the teen will clam up and there goes an opportunity to chat with your teen.
Don't freak out. Some teens are worried that what they share with their parents might upset them. When your teen faces something in her or his life, the teen may worry that the reality of the situation would unsettle his or her parents. It might not be that the teen is worried to tell the parents but instead is afraid of the reaction. They might not want to face the parent lecturing about the world today and so on. Be sure not to turn every chance to open the line of communication with your teen into a life lesson but instead have a discussion with your teen.